The Snake and the Saw and When Not to Fight

         On 26/3/19, I saw the Interventional Radiologist and the Gastroenterologist, who was recommended by the Interventional Radiologist, since no one has looked at my Hepatitis B condition and my liver cirrhosis. [I was diagnosed with chronic Hepatitis B since 1987 with regular blood tests and yearly ultra sound scan. In 1999, the ultra sound scan found that the cyst has turned cancerous. My first cancer resection was done on April 1999.]

         My impression is that the Interventional Radiologist is reluctant to carry on doing RFA and TACE on my liver so many times. She is looking for alternatives.

         The Gastroenterologist says that every time a procedure is carried out on the liver, the liver is somewhat damaged, although the liver can rejuvenate itself. One can then die of liver failure instead of liver cancer. He proposes to do blood tests and a Oesophago-Gastro-Duodenoscopy (OGD). He wanted to find out whether I have gastric Varices and EOV and my liver cirrhosis conditions. He says that one cannot cure the liver cirrhosis but can manage it with medicines.

        

This set me thinking about the “Story pf the snake and the saw”, which is I read sometimes below:

 

*THE SNAKE AND THE SAW*

 

A snake penetrated into a carpentry workshop.  As it slipped, it passed over a saw and got slightly wounded. Suddenly, it turned and bit the saw, and biting the saw, the snake seriously got wounded in its mouth!

 

Then not understanding what was happening and thinking that the saw was attacking "him," _it decided to roll around the saw to suffocate it with all its body by squeezing it with all its strength, but it ended up being killed by the saw!!!_

 

Sometimes we react in anger to hurt those who have harmed us, but we realize later that after all *we are hurting ourselves.*

 

*_In life it is better sometimes to ignore situations, ignore people, ignore their behavior, their words._*

 

*Sometimes it is better not to react* so as not to suffer consequences that can sometimes be deadly or harmful.

 

*Do not let hate take over your life* because love is stronger than anything.

 

*Keep Smiling and Spread Happiness.....* *LAWS OF NATURE*

 

.... The food we eat, has to be digested and then thrown out of body in 24 hours, else we will fall ill.

 

.... The water we drink, gets in our body and is thrown out in 4 hours, else we will fall ill.

 

.... The air we breathe, has to be thrown out in 1 minute, else we will die.

 

What about negative emotions like hatred, anger, jealousy, insecurity ... we hold in our body for days, months and years.

 

If these negative emotions are not thrown out regularly it props up into psycho-somatic diseases.

 

And prayers are safest way to dissolve these emotions.

 

 

How do I know when not to fight anymore with my liver cancer conditions? I have 20 years of blessings. I have had a good battling with the liver cancer for 20 years. I am told that every time I do a cancer treatment for my liver, some damages are done to the liver. Although liver rejuvenate itself, it could not recover to its original state. I have 17 tumors and have done some 7 RFA, 3 TACE, 2 resections,  one radio active iodine, one Y-90, one alcohol ablation on my small liver of some 10-12 cm. I may die of liver failure rather than liver cancer, if I continue with too many liver cancer procedures.

Medically speaking I am fighting something I know nothing about. How much quality time will it give me if I keep fighting as against not fighting anymore? If it is going to be a difference of one or two years, why don’t I just enjoy myself and not go on fighting? Currently for the last 2 years my life was virtually at a standstill and I was just going to see one doctor after another for every 7-10 days and spending 3-4 hours all in. I am tired and exhausted. Every doctor sees it from his siloed perspective. I must see from my quality life point of view. I am now coming to 81 years old, good enough years of living. What are my options? Yes, I will leave to Jesus to see me through but I still have my free will to decide what to do with the doctors. I have to choose. Final choice is still my. Any input?

 

                  Written on 28 March 2019