Unconditional Trust when I Suffer from the Book of Job in YouTube
I agree with Dr Mack that I must be strong and remain strong to fight the liver cancer. But how to be strong with such a tough opponent? People will respond differently. That’s to be expected.
I have been fighting this liver cancer for the past 21 years and being human, it would be easy, for me, to place this suffering in the negative. This to me means—to moan, complain endlessly, grumble, self-pity, be a victim and be in despair. The courageous part is to stay strong and remain strong and to place my suffering in the positive—to find the blessing in and through the suffering!! For this I need constant support and reminders from family, friends and God.
I believe in God. My God is a loving God who is gracious, wise, compassionate, merciful and purposeful to me. So how do I reconcile this unconditional loving God with my 21 years of suffering?
Suffering is a complex, ambiguous and disruptive topic (CAD). To have a clearer understanding of the subject I go to the Book of Job in the Bible. There are 42 chapters on suffering and the discourse on suffering between Job and his three friends on why God allow, permit, or even created suffering for individuals are such an informative and educational read. Unfortunately, it is not easy to interpret it. I need help from various writers on the subject. For I believe that if I have a correct understanding of it, I will be able to put my suffering under the blessing.
To simplify and summarize my understanding, I come to the following conclusions:
God loves me unconditionally, but do I trust God unconditionally when I suffer? It is easy to trust God when He fulfills my conditions, but can I unconditionally trust God? Yes, with no conditions from me!!! Can I accept in my mind and heart the following statements?
- The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away (Job 1:21 NIV)
- Accept whatever He gives—and give whatever He takes with a big smile. (Mother Teresa–A Gift for God, pg 47)
- God has a plan for me and He is in charge of my life
On 18/6/2020, I had the mapping of my nuclear medicine Y-90 carried out. This mapping is to embolize (block) the nuclear medicine from spreading from the liver to the gut and lung. If it succeeds, then I can go for the nuclear medicine Y-90 (Yttrium 90) to be introduced to the tumors in my liver later. I had done this Y-90 in 2017 and it was good. But, in 2000 when I was given the nuclear medicine of radioactive iodine, there was no embolizing and the nuclear radioactive iodine spread to my guts and heart, and I developed high fever to fight the spread. I had to be hospitalized for 42 days. It was a terrible and awful experience.
To stay strong for the procedure, I needed to be brave myself, so I revisited and listened to the various interpretation on the Book of Job in the Internet below. In the procedure there was no GA or local anesthesia. I was fully awake, and the wiring was introduced through my left wrist as my preferred means instead of through the groin to my liver. During the process the Interventional Radiologist kept asking me whether it was painful along the way. My belief is that if I trust that God is in charge of my life, I should not stop the doctor from proceeding as the doctor has planned to do. At one of the later stages, I felt my heart at one time to be painful and kidney to be painful too. But I could endure and stand the pain and thus let the procedure continue. By praying for strength and diversion, I kept focusing on Jesus walking on the water or Jesus’ promise that He will never turn away anyone who comes to Him. I was tired but the procedure went well and I was able to come home in the evening instead of staying in the hospital to recuperate. I remained strong.
I find the following YouTube programs to be very useful and some of you may find them to be so:
Job: When the Righteous Suffer – John Piper (Part 1)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqFNPFEvmAk
Job: When the Righteous Suffer – John Piper (Part 2)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evGKcHyzKQU
The Book of Job – Part 1/2 (Derek Prince) – Job and his accusing friends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzwHzZnLwtk
The Book of Job – Part 2/2 (Derek Prince) – GOD challenges Job
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BwqvhQv-VRY
The Questions Of A Man In Agony on Job by Ravi Zacharias
https://youtu.be/oJajX6HAE8g
Why Suffering? Finding Meaning in our Difficult World by Ravi Zacharias
https://youtu.be/v6Gl4ao8IzA
“The Book of Job (Part 1)” – Pastor Doug Batchelor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8_x78-DymY
Hedge of God (Book of Job Part 2) – Pastor Doug Batchelor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1gkF_IyNHo
Despair & Faithless Friends (Book of Job Part 3) – Pastor Doug Batchelor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxP2JGiK7VY
“The Big Questions of Life (Book of Job part 4) – Pastor Doug Batchelor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGbl1oGItrg
“A Reflection of Christ (Book of Job part 5)” – Pastor Doug Batchelor
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WG8yY2EHlYQ
Trust God! – Charles R. Swindoll
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CafpzBJJFbQ
Charles R. Swindoll – Let God lead you one step at a time
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GNMptVHxv0A
God’s Purpose in Our Pain (2 Corinthians 12:7-10) John MacArthur
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLk4Q1ML6RA
John MacArthur: Why Does God Allow So Much Suffering and Evil
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LFzk1afiD8
Learn How To Trust God’s Timing with Rick Warren
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy-SqCVQx-M
Joel Osteen – Unconditional Trust
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Vpb9Vv2AEg
John Piper: The Glory of God in the Midst of Affliction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=45Sr2Sjv2PQ
The Book of Job – Rabbi Yitzchak Breitowitz
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e9LB47o4Q9M&t=328s
“God on Trial” – the theology of Job – Part 1 – Stephen Bohr
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opq-hG65NFU
“God on Trial” – the theology of Job – Part 2 – Stephen Bohr
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s1v9OmL5wsQ
Leonard Ravenhill Sermon – Job
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=66DTB8w1Nbs
Why God Allows Suffering? Part 1 (Job 1) Pastor Greg Laurie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMwjxTFdRtc
Why God Allows Suffering? Part 2 Pastor Greg Laurie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHvzIoFD8Og
“Have You Considered My Servant Job”- Jimmy Swaggart at FWC
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2eMs2Mp45BU
Let Go and Trust God
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3O22mqcnPI
TRUST GOD FIRST | You Will Never Look At Life The Same
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTH4er0D4N8
My Inward Journey 
Hi brother, am blessed by your personal sharing, and the helpful links and resources. I’m battling disappointment with God through unanswered healing. Your sharing helped.
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No matter how disappointed with God, just go to Him or Jesus n tell him so. Jesus says “I will never turn away anyone who comes to Me” Just go to Him n ask for His help.
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